Timing

Timing is everything. I don't have to tell you that; chances are pretty good you already know it. Guilt is a terrible thing. Now what does timing have to do with guilt? Simple. If you don't have enough time to do everything, you feel guilty you missed something. As I was sitting here doing my homework tonight, my little man was demanding attention. Demanding is definately the right word. I desperately needed to get the work done, and yet, I desperately wanted to give him the attention he was demanding. Herein lies the guilt. My time is precious. I'm sure so is everyone elses. I have so little of it. He missed basketball practice because I have to do my homework and his father, who swore to me when we started the basketball experience that he would take care of it. I told him Thursday was not a good day for me. He told me not to worry about it. He seems to think that just because I rarely work a Thursday night that I can just drop everything and run. I can't. Just because I'm not working doesn't mean I don't have to work.
Oh, I have those days where I so very much envy those who do nothing! I have a few friends and acquaintances, who I would never change for the world, that do nothing. They don't work, they don't go to school, they don't have children, or they do but don't live with them, they have complete and total freedom to do whatever they want. Yet, they are not happy. Why? Because apparently people need to have something to do! I work my ass off. Can I say ass on the Internet? Oh, well, I just did. I work my ass off, working my full-time job, going to school online, volunteering in Home and School (known in other areas as the PTA) and in Cub Scouts. Yes, I'm busy. Yes, I'm stressed. Would I give it up? Not for the world! I'm more determined now than I was at a younger age. I will have my degree. I will keep my job. I will be a good mom.
I have recently been invited to be a member of the Golden Key International Honor Society. I had always hoped, at my previous graduations, to be one of those illustrious students with the gold scarfs hanging around their necks. It is a mark of distinction. I will have it this time around. I will be distinguished. I am among the top 40 of a graduating class of more than 2000. That is nothing to sneeze at! Oh, but will I have time?!


I will make time.